Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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