I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
