Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
