So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
