you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
