maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I will pee on everything he values.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
