would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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