Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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