We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
