someone get that fucking seahorse.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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