We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
