Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
