Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
