So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
