Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
