Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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