you have to choose: penises or morals?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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