FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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