Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
false alarm. still invincible.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
