People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
