im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
