So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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