I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
