you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
