butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
