we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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