I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
