he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
