Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
