jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
