I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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