they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
