okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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