wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
