Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
