I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
