idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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