You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
