We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
