hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
