make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
