i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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