we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
