Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
