Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
