I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
