How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
