No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
