plz talk dirty to me
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize