Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Couch. On fire.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
